“ If love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener”, very aptly said! And marriage then opens up one’s eyes to such an extent that this life-long bond, this utter union of so-called profound love ultimately shatters and terminates in divorce.
Statistics reveal a steep rise in marriages in India ending up in divorce in courts. Seventy per cent of these figures represent young people in the age group of 25 to 35. Amicable separation within the first year of marriage has increased by 30 per cent since 2000 while 85 per cent went in for a divorce within the first five years of marriage.
According to the last census of 2001, divorce rates have gone up sharply over recent years mainly in cities, from 4% in 1980s to 14% in 2001. In Mumbai alone, the percentage shot up by 56 percent between 1991 and 2001. According to Indian Statistical Institute figures, over 8000 divorce petitions were filed in 2001 and the figures have definitely gone up.
Whether it’s an arranged marriage or a love knot, in both the cases this word “love” lives up to its actual meaning only for a short span. After this flavour of lust and fondness vanish, then the other side of the coin turns up. Daily disputes, endless disagreements, incessant squabble, wagging of tongues, sometimes cold wars and sometimes actual physical combats, and consequently a legal piece of paper terminating the so-called sacred institution of marriage. And then also are you happy and content? What about the past memories that constantly keeps impinging on your present, distressing and upsetting you all the more?
Leela Kirloskar, a lawyer turned publisher in her new book, ‘Dealing with divorce made easy, The essential Handbook´ provides you with a hand-full of tips. “You are bound to come across many, many reminders of your marital life. This can be fairly distressing. Don’t hesitate to throw out photographs and letters if they upset you for holding on to your past is not going to help you make a clean break for the future.” The book attempts to explain the process of divorce in India and the legal provisions as simply as possible, the author says.
For a fruitful and a life-long relationship one needs to have a clear understanding of what love actually means. Does it signify passion, lust and romance? Or is love a small term expressing vast distinctive attributes like care, respect, patience, tolerance, devotion and trust? Or is it to keep up a proportionate balance between the two?
If my opinion is to be put up then certainly mutual compatibility and commitment are the key words for a prosperous marriage. And if it still doesnt work out then one must opt for divorce, otherwise “compromises” will become the second name for “marriages”.